Since the breastpump made it's exit from my life... things have indeed improved.
But first I suffered. I spent Friday and the weekend hurting like a bastard with rock hard, engorged boobs. The whole cabbage thing didn't work out for me because the stank of it made me gag at myself. I felt like my boobs had been in a car accident. They were so sore, it hurt to walk. I did pump off tiny little bits when I absolutely needed it and that really helped. Friday was a particularly low day as I wasn't sure how this whole thing worked and I was emotional and sore and, well the tears were flowing freely. I did consult with a nurse on the Nurse Hotline and found her to be extremely compassionate, and kind and intelligent. She helped me get through. Things slowly (soooo slowly) improved from there and every day is a little bit better.
I am still a tiny bit sore but nothing I can't handle. The pump is now gone for good. And today? Today was my first real, normal day and it's been fabulous so far.
I had NO idea really, how much time and energy that whole process was taking out of me. I feel like a fucking rockstar today.
~Emptied, reloaded, ran, and emptied the dishwasher
~Washed and put away all laundry (just TRY and find a pair of dirty undies on my floor!)
~Cleaned and organized my office
~Made snacks for Ruby's "graduation" from the mommy/baby group tomorrow
~Went for a walk
~Played with and thoroughly enjoyed Ruby all day
~I even had time to be pleasant to Steve when he came home at lunch!
Sure, this may be a normal day for some of you, but this is a BIG day for me. This is a lot of accomplishments that wouldn't have all be done had I been hooked up to the pump and washing pump parts all day.
I still struggle a bit with the guilt of giving her formula but if this keeps up, the guilt should pass fairly quickly.