Thursday, October 21, 2010


Between vertigo, Lincoln's feeds and a very busy mind, I got little sleep last night.  In fact, at 3am I got up to go pee and a few minutes later realized I had started cleaning the bathroom - which is what I do when I'm pissed off or stressed out.  I promptly sent myself back to bed.

Anyways, Lincoln does indeed have another UTI.  We are heading to the hospital this afternoon for a renal u/s.  When the results are in from that we will be headed to BC Childrens Hospital for more tests and possible surgery.  The doctor suspects he is having problems with the valves between his bladder and his kidneys so that when his bladder constricts to make him pee, some urine is being shot back up into his kidneys. 

We are also being referred to a pediatric urologist. 

Possibly the scariest part of it all?  My BIL is coming to babysit Ruby this afternoon while I take Lincoln for tests.

Desperate times...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Sick baby

I wrote a big long post this morning about my vertigo (which I still have). I was just waiting for a spare minute to finish it off and edit it. 

Then this afternoon I got a call from my doctors office letting me know that Lincoln has another urinary tract infection.  And suddenly my vertigo doesn't matter anymore.  Except for making the next few days harder than they're already going to be.

Lincoln had a UTI a few weeks back and I was warned by my doctor that if he got another one he would need a "full workup" (a shitload of tests) and would likely need to stay at Childrens Hospital for a few days.  So since then every time he made a peep I worried. 

Then a couple nights ago he started screaming.  I don't mean crying.  I mean SCREAMING. After an hour I threw him in the van and drove to the hospital emergency.  When I got there he was sleeping and I couldn't imagine taking a sleeping baby into emergency, trying to convince triage that he needed to be seen.

The next night was an exact repeat of the night before.

The next morning I took him to my doctor. We did a urine sample and the doctor told me that if he has an infection that it would be "strike two" and he will need to go to Children's Hospital.

Well... strike two.

I was told by the doctor's receptionist today that if he is screaming I should take him to emergency, if not he will be seen tomorrow morning by my doctor.  After that we will likely be headed to Children's Hospital.

Stressed?  Who me?

I can't help but think of Steve and how when he was a baby he had some problems with his testicles which ultimately resulted in some severe scarring which resulted in our male factor infertility. It's not the same issues but still.  A mother thinks all kinds of things in a situation like this. 

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I'm sleeping with two men...

Scandalous, huh?

To elaborate, the two men in my bed are my husband and... Lincoln.

I started out co-sleeping with him when he was first born because it was easier for me to feed him and care for him when I was recovering from childbirth. At about 2 or 3 weeks I put him in his bassinet beside my bed, and all was well.


I got vertigo and he got a urinary tract infection.

I brought him back into my bed because I was worried about his fever and wanted him close so I could monitor him.

He got better but my vertigo never really went away. I can NOT sleep on or turn to the left side or the room spins - and that is where his bassinet is.

So he's stayed.

I don't worry about rolling on him and crushing or suffocating him because I am pretty much eye to eye with him in bed and I'm such a light sleeper (especially with vertigo) that any time Steve so much as shifts, my arm shoots out to make sure he doesn't get too close.

Needless to say, I'm not getting a whole lot of quality sleep these days. But then again I don't think that moving him out of my bed would make things any better for my sleep quality/quantity. In fact, I think it would be worse.

But... I feel like maybe I should get him out of our bed. Because while it might be easier now, is it going to be even harder to get him out the longer he's there? Does it matter? Should I just take the easy now while I need it? I mean, it's damn hard doing what I do, is it so wrong to make something easier for me, for now? If he was sleeping through the night it wouldn't be a question - he would be in his own bassinet if not his own crib in his room. But he's getting up at least twice in the night to eat - sometimes more (God help me), and in between his feeds he is restless and he grunts and groans. And if I didn't have vertigo, it would also not be a question - he wouldn't be in my bed.

I'm torn as to what I should do about it all right now.