Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I'm sleeping with two men...

Scandalous, huh?

To elaborate, the two men in my bed are my husband and... Lincoln.

I started out co-sleeping with him when he was first born because it was easier for me to feed him and care for him when I was recovering from childbirth. At about 2 or 3 weeks I put him in his bassinet beside my bed, and all was well.


I got vertigo and he got a urinary tract infection.

I brought him back into my bed because I was worried about his fever and wanted him close so I could monitor him.

He got better but my vertigo never really went away. I can NOT sleep on or turn to the left side or the room spins - and that is where his bassinet is.

So he's stayed.

I don't worry about rolling on him and crushing or suffocating him because I am pretty much eye to eye with him in bed and I'm such a light sleeper (especially with vertigo) that any time Steve so much as shifts, my arm shoots out to make sure he doesn't get too close.

Needless to say, I'm not getting a whole lot of quality sleep these days. But then again I don't think that moving him out of my bed would make things any better for my sleep quality/quantity. In fact, I think it would be worse.

But... I feel like maybe I should get him out of our bed. Because while it might be easier now, is it going to be even harder to get him out the longer he's there? Does it matter? Should I just take the easy now while I need it? I mean, it's damn hard doing what I do, is it so wrong to make something easier for me, for now? If he was sleeping through the night it wouldn't be a question - he would be in his own bassinet if not his own crib in his room. But he's getting up at least twice in the night to eat - sometimes more (God help me), and in between his feeds he is restless and he grunts and groans. And if I didn't have vertigo, it would also not be a question - he wouldn't be in my bed.

I'm torn as to what I should do about it all right now.


Esperanza said...

I would keep him in your bed. I don't think it will be so hard later to move him again. When you're both ready, it will be fine.

I'm also having sleep issues. I just moved my daughter to the crib in her room hoping it would curb the amount of times she's getting up (which is every two hours). So far it has not helped but it's only been one night.

Good luck with everything. It must be very hard, but you seem to be persevering.

Emily said...

I co-slept with Maisie (at least for part of the night) for almost a year. In the beginning it was about her (ease of feeding and she hated her bassinet) but ended up being about me (meant I didn't have to get up and trudge upstairs 3 - 5 times a night).

I heard a fair bit of "are you sure that's a good idea" from my MIL and, sometimes, Husbando but I felt it was the right thing for my family and I truly believe it's paid off.

Maisie sleeps through the night like a trooper and rarely wakes up. I made sure she napped in her crib so there were no issues about sleeping in the actual bed but in the end we all got used to her being in with us and I slept alot better.

Hang in there honey - you've got a lot to deal with and ANYTHING that makes your life easier is a good idea.

Oh and all that stuff you hear about kids being 5 years old and still sleeping in their parents beds? I have yet to meet a co-sleeping family who still have a kid in their bed when they didn't want one.

JJ Keith said...

I am no expert, but what I've always heard is that babies are pretty easy to move out of your bed until they're 6 months old or so. We moved our first out at 7 months and she never batted an eyelash. I think you're in the clear for a while.

Femme au Foyer said...

Do what's best for YOU and what allows you to get the most rest and be the best mom you can be. Forget the naysayers--they're not the ones who are massively sleep-deprived.

You know what? I've yet to hear about an adult who still sleeps with him mother (unless he's a sicko). Eventually they ALL move to their own bed! ;)

Anonymous said...

B slept in our bed for the first few months because our house was so drafty it was the only way to ensure she stayed warm. Then she started sleeping the first part of the night in her cradle beside the bed, then I'd pull her into our bed to feed her. Then around 6 or 7 months she moved to a playpen in the corner of our room. Then around 9 months she moved into a crib in her own room. Then we moved the crib into another room. None of the moves really caused her any distress. So I vote for "do what's best for you at the time you're doing it".

noswimmers said...

Sherbert (13 months) still sleeps with us. I didn't mean for it to go this long, he just screams bloody murder if I try to move him. So I don't.
Ya gotta do what works best/feels right to you!