*OR* things could get worse...

HA! I thought I felt shitty yesterday? That was nothing! Try throwing in a little trip to the emergency room with baby Ruby - just for good measure.

I was in the shower at about 6:30pm and I swear to god I was thinking, "Wow. I'm really lucky that Ruby's never gotten sick. Not so much as a cold."

And then I heard Steve yell something kind of panicky to me.

He came into the bathroom to tell me that Ruby thew up.

Uh huh... well, she does that sometimes.

Except she was COVERED in barf. More than I'd ever seen from her. So I was a little bit concerned. I told him to change her clothes and I'd come have a look at her. Turns out she had filled up the seat of her swing with puke and it had soaked through and dripped on the floor.

I sat with her on the couch and a few minutes later she was retching and gagging and then power puking everywhere.

Yes, she's spit up before but never with the retching and gagging.

She got super pale. Almost green. And then she started to pass out. Falling asleep maybe, but she'd just had an hour nap (also unusual) and should not have been tired. I couldn't keep her awake though! It scared the crap out of me.

A couple more pukes and I had her in the car and on the way to the emergency room. I sat in the back seat with her while Steve drove and she kept trying to pass out again. I kept talking to her and holding her little face and she just looked at me with this sad, scared, pitiful look on her face that I'd never seen before.

We got in the hospital and into a room fairly quickly. I'll tell you something - I NEVER, EVER want to see my baby laying in a hospital bed ever again! The poor little soul had on a teeny tiny hospital gown and the little bitty bed had those horrid metal bars. Ugh. I cried and cried.

We were next in line for the doctor when an ambulance full of idiots who had been fucking around with kerosene on their home stove came in with their hair and hands all burnt and then we sat and waited for a couple of hours for the doctor.

Meanwhile Ruby only puked a couple more times (never in the presence of a medical professional) and then I fed her around 10pm and she went to sleep. By the time the doctor examined her, she was sound asleep, not puking and had all her color back.

So guess who looked like the crazy, over-protective mother? That'd be me.

I saw that one nurse had written on her chart, "Baby looks fine".

The doctor gave her a complete examination and then told me that, "Babies puke for lots of reasons" and that he had no way of knowing why Ruby had been puking but that she seemed fine now and I should just keep an eye on her for the next 6 - 12 hours.

We didn't get home from the hospital until midnight. I didn't get to bed until 1am. And Ruby slept with me in my bed last night and Steve slept in the spare room so I could keep an eye on her. So I'm a little bit tired today.

I don't regret taking her to the hospital. Something was wrong, even if she got better without the help of the doctors. Because what if she didn't get better? What if something really bad was wrong? What if all the fears that I battle with on a daily basis were to come true and I lost her??? Holy fuck I was scared. I felt safer being at the hospital than taking my chances at home.

Ruby's pretty much back to normal today. Except that her mom is being obnoxious with the loves and cuddles and I think I might be getting on her nerves.

I also promised her on the car ride to the hospital that if she would just be ok, I would breastfeed her until she was 18 if she wanted me to. So as for quitting that, it's not going to happen anytime soon.