After the doom and gloom show with my dad on Tuesday morning I decided that I wasn't going to take his calls for a while.
He called twice yesterday during the day and I never picked up.
Today he called and it's like the whole world has changed. He's in a great mood, he's doing things for my mom, he's building things in the yard, doing the shopping, making dinners... And his mood is remarkably better.
I also just spoke with my mom and she's picked up on the reason for my mood lately. She apologized for both of them - saying that everybody has their problems but that it's not fair for them to dump their shit on me. (Well, she didn't say "dump their shit", that was my phrase.)
I told her that I love them both but I'm not their counselor so I don't really need to hear about all their marital problems.
She agreed.
Of course this doesn't fix all the problems - he is still an alcoholic and a drug addict and all the rest, but at least they've realized that they shouldn't involve me in their misery. For now.
I think it scares them into realization when I avoid them for a couple of days. Because I hold the trump card... Ruby. And they know I don't mess around when it comes to Ruby.
4 comments:
Well done, Tara! Sounds like you took the perfect course of action - easy for you, and obviously they got the message loud and clear. Like you say, it may not last forever, but at least it didn't involve a big blowout or you having to take total control of the situation. Hope they continue to understand that you're not their therapist.
Oh, and Yay! for Ruby rolling over!
Good. You need to set the bar... and glad you showed them there are consequences.
Tee hee hee You wield that gorgeous bundle of Ruby power! I think you handled it brilliantly!
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