Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Mommy wars

This whole "Mommy Wars" bullshit? Can kiss my ass.

I attend this this group of about six mommies/babies that meet up once a week. It started from a group that I attended at the Health Clinic once a week until Ruby "graduated" at 6 months old. Some moms decided that it would be nice to continue the meetups on our own, once a week.

But I may bow out. The Mommy Wars is a battle I have no interest in waging and it seems to be going strong in this group. There is one mom in particular who grates on me. She has a lot of "important" "friends that she talks about all the time. One friend is a surgeon, she has two friends that are "professional" photographers, one that is a lactation nurse, and her husband is a professional at absolutely everything. Her baby could sign milk at 3 months old. She is still breastfeeding and feels that giving a bottle to her Precious would ruin her life forever (she talks about it as I feed Ruby a delicious bottle of formula). She sews toys for her baby and also makes her own baby food. Her baby eats everything she is given and loves it. The baby gives her mom hugs and kisses all the time too. Her baby can also *fly, is training to run a half-marathon and can speak three different languages. She might also shit pink rose petals, I'm not sure. She continually talks about her wonderful cabin on the lake that she retreats to every weekend with her perfect family.

Today she brought this frilly dilly pair of pink pants to the group because her daughter is so "slender" that she would never fit into them. She offered them to me while saying, "If they're too pink for you, I understand." Because, you know... I have tattoos and that means that I would never let my daughter wear **pink.

My eyes hurt from rolling so much. It's taxing. And hardly how I want to spend two to three hours a week. I'm not playing into the ***one-upmanship game.

Prior to this last month, I thought the Mommy Wars were battles that uptown mommies waged in their fancy SUVs, designer sunglasses, yoga gear and venti Starbucks coffees. Prior to two months ago I'm not sure I'd even heard the term and didn't have a clue that this went on.

So I'll go to one or two more meetups to see if it's worth my time to continue. If not, I'll take my future honor role student and LPGA champion and we'll go play with our toys somewhere else.

*Maybe not, but it wouldn't surprise me to hear her say it.

**Pink she can wear. But frilly dilly pants? Not in any color.

***Oh yeah? Then why did I tell her Ruby rode a pony this past weekend??


JJ said...

Nodding my head all the way through this. Those are some crazy beaotches.

annacyclopedia said...

This is what I am dreading the most, post baby - having to make new friends who are also at home during the day. I've seen a whole bunch of my friends go through a big change where they create a whole new social group of other moms of young kids, and frankly, nothing scares me more than that. Ugh.

Wish we lived on the same block. And I promise you, I will never give you a hand me down because my baby is too "slender". That is just fucked.

Alicia said...

I despise the mommy wars. All of it. Why the need to have a "better baby" or a "better life"? I don't get it. It just amazes me. When I tell people that Ellie is average pertaining to speech or motor skills or whatever, they look at me funny. Like, "you're proud that your kid is average?" And I'm like "I'm just proud of my kid period. She's awesome. She doesn't have to be a genius for me to love her."

Emily said...

Ugggg - it sucks! I'm telling you we need to start a "Good Enough" mommy's club where those women would be banned for life!

Aurelia said...

That woman likely annoys everyone else in the group as well! Ask around and see. It maybe that you have more friends than you know.

Sad thing is, I bet she's insecure and I bet she doesn't actually do such a great job at home with everything. Either that, or she is on the verge of a breakdown from lack of sleep and stress.

You don't have to like her, but try to feel some pity. She sounds kind of pathetic.

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