No rest for the wicked

I didn't get the overnight help.

I did however get a 2 hour break Saturday afternoon in which I went grocery shopping by myself for the first time since Ruby was born. It felt great to be so independent. I got a latte and strolled around the grocery store. Of course I had to phone home halfway through just to check in because it did feel weird being away from Ruby for the first time for so long.

And then later on, Steve and I went out for our dinner (for about 2 hours) which also felt great. I managed to make it through the whole outing without phoning home to check on things this time. And I had a martini for the first time in almost a year.... it was great to feel so grown up.

But through the whole visit with my mom, there wasn't any more mention from her about taking care of Ruby through the night so I didn't ask her about it. I know if I brought it up she would have said yes but because of some unpleasant circumstances during the week leading up to Saturday, my mom needed sleep maybe more than I did.

On about Tuesday she had some very unexpected, very unwanted and VERY unpleasant company show up at her house. A family member whom my dad always feels responsible for helping, showed up again (as he has periodically over the past few years whenever he's in trouble) and my dad let him stay in the basement until he could get him into a shelter. My mom despises this person already but this time he was in some really, really terrible shape (missing front teeth, sores, track marks up his arms) after living a really terrible lifestyle (cooking and selling crack, running with some bad dudes) - and my mom was actually afraid to have him in her house (rightly so). So she'd been sleeping with one eye open - or not really sleeping at all - for days leading up to Saturday. By the time bedtime rolled around I could see how tired and worn out she was so I didn't want to bother her with the responsibility of getting up in the night with Ruby. Staying at my house and feeling safe while she slept through the night was obviously something she needed badly so I just let it be.

Her "house guest" was put in a shelter on Sunday (rehab hopefully this Friday if he can stay clean and in the shelter until then). My mom spent Sunday afternoon with a bottle of Lysol, disinfecting her house. And burning any items that he may have touched.

So anyway, I feel lucky that I got to have a couple of nice breaks, and maybe next time she comes, she'll be better rested, less stressed and ready to take on Ruby for the entire night.

I do long for just one night of uninterrupted sleep though. Hell, I'd be happy with 4 or 5 hours in a row. I am getting a little bit run down from the 2 hour naps that are my night.

I've been working on training Steve to take the first feeding in the night and we may try to implement this tonight.