I debated on whether to post about this because I'm feeling so incredibly fucking stupid and guilty and really embarrassed about it.
Yesterday I was doing two things at once - being Ruby's mom, and making mashed potatoes for dinner. The potatoes were boiling on the stove and ready to be mashed and I was sitting on the couch with Ruby while she slept. I left Ruby sleeping on the couch and went around the corner into the kitchen. Drained the potatoes. Added milk, butter and salt. Started mashing. Heard a thump from the living room.
My heart sunk and my first thought as I spun around was "please let that noise have been the dog". Except the first thing I saw as I turned around was the dog staring in the direction of the couch. I flew across the kitchen and around the corner to see Ruby laying face down on the ground. I felt like the blood drained from me and my heart came out of my chest.
She had apparently wiggled in her sleep and slid off the couch. I really didn't think she could do that yet.
She didn't start to cry until I got to her - which seemed like an eternity but was probably only 10 seconds at the most from the time I heard her fall. I scooped her up off the floor and immediately checked her all over. Luckily, thankfully, ohhhh soooo thankfully, she was still in perfect working condition. She cried for a bit and I held her and rocked her and bawled my eyes out saying, "I'm so sorry Ruby, I'm so sorry. Mommy loves you SOOO much. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" over and over and over again.
And the rest of the day I was a wreck. Consumed with guilt. Feeling like a big fucking loser.
I had planned on giving Ruby a bath during the day but I opted to wait til Steve came home from work because my confidence was shaken, as were my hands, arms and legs for the rest of the day. (After her bath, I ended up flooding the bathroom when I tried to pour her bath water into the sink but instead dumped it all over the bathroom counter and floor.)
I am so so sooooo thankful that Ruby is a healthy little pliable baby and she wasn't hurt in any way from my fuckup. I have been toting her around in the Baby Bjorn all morning this morning and when I have to put her down, I make sure she is strapped in tight to one of her chairs, or in the bassinet.
Another stupid lesson learned.
Tonight - we are having take out.