~ Notice the new blog look? That's kind of how I feel lately. Dark. Red. Kind of swirly. Kind of mad. Does the blog look mad? Dark red always indicates angry. I'm trying not to feel so resentful and angry lately. I'm working on it, I really am.
~ I started to write a post about how much I love my Ruby Tuesdays. Not the restaurant - the day of the week that Steve's weekend is over and he goes out the door and I get to hang out with Ruby in a nice quiet house and do my own thing without having to listen to any obnoxious sports channels and I can get caught up on housework without having someone in my way messing things up as I clean. But then I thought that I have aired enough dirty laundry lately and if I keep bitching about Steve you will soon all think he's a horrible man. He's not really. Right now we're just struggling to find our way with our new lifestyle - the parent lifestyle. One of us has adapted better than the other. He still thinks he can live life the way he was before, without making many concessions or doing any extra work.
Seriously stop, Tara.
~ Ok, just one more thing! We had an argument this morning. I have been jogging every morning before he goes to work. I am out of the house between 7am - 7:30am. He starts work at 8am. He works 10 minutes away. He complained this morning that my jogging *nearly* caused him to be late yesterday and maybe I should get up and go jogging earlier. He was just being pissy because he had to change a diaper AND feed the baby. He was "advised" that it is HIS JOB to care for Ruby in the mornings - that includes all duties. And that perhaps HE should get up earlier (while Ruby and I are still sleeping) and have his shower and get himself ready for the day before she gets up. That way he is ready to leave when I return from jogging. This is my ONLY thing that I get to do for myself and I'm not making any adjustments just so he can get to work early and sit in the coffee room and suck on a double-double, and gossip with his buddies for 20 minutes before he starts work. He agreed that him getting up earlier might be a good idea. Good for him.
Ok now I will stop with the bashing. For reals.
~ Ruby has completely and totally relapsed in the solids department. I had her eagerly eating solids twice a day and then I don't know what happened. But over the past week or two - it suddenly stopped. It's like she totally forgot how to eat. She has ZERO interest in it again. She'll be 7 months old on Monday and I can't get her to eat two tablespoons worth of rice cereal in a day. I try not to let it bother me, but it's really frustrating. I NEVER show my frustration in front of her though - it's always La La La - food is fun! We're all happy when we eat! La La La! The book I'm reading says just to keep trying little bits every day and to not force the issue. I will continue to do that.
~ Despite months of rigorous training, Ruby has NOT yet said "Mama" but instead she has started saying "DADA". Not sure where she heard this word, except maybe me cursing it under my breath.
~ I found a daycare for Ruby for when I return to work in December. As soon as I walked into the place I fell in love with the girl who runs it and I fell in love with the clean, organized and tidy manner the place was in. It felt good to be there and Ruby was happy. I did not get the same feeling from "Deliverance" Daycare that I visited, which had run over toys laying crushed in the driveway, filthy carpets and furniture, windows so thick with film you couldn't see through them, a vicious barking dog, and the lady who ran it just stood there staring at me with her wandering eye and buck teeth. She just said, "Yup. This is it."
Oh no, Carole. It's not.
~We are going to start "Babytime" tomorrow. Every Thursday for the month of July I will subject myself to songs, puppet plays, "action rhymes", and stories - all in the name of entertaining Ruby. (And also in the name of getting out of the house.) I am thinking of bringing along a flask of vodka to hide in my bra.
~ UFC fight this Saturday. I don't really care all that much for it except that it's entertainment and excuse for people to get together. We're invited to a friend's house to watch it. I usually bring Ruby to everything I go to in an effort to socialize her and get her used to different life events and situations . But I know it will be loud and there will be men yelling at a loud TV (not to mention blood spilling fights) and I just don't feel good about bringing her to that. So I will either stay home and have a quiet Ruby-Saturday, or my mom has offered to babysit so I can go. On the fence. I know I should get out at any opportunity that arises (because there aren't that many opportunities arising), but.... meh.... right now I just don't feel all that into it. Maybe by Saturday I will have changed my mind. Maybe not. There's definitely something to be said for a quiet Saturday night at home - although Steve wouldn't know much about that...
I know, I said I wouldn't. Sorry. I'll stop now.