Firstly can I just say thank you to everyone (except one mean person) who left a comment with so much understanding and support on my last post?
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I think that might break a record for number of comments on this little blog of mine, and it made me feel so supported during a really rough time. Thanks to the LFCA for mentioning me and my situation and sending support my way. It truly, truly means so much.
The last few days have been really hard. Steve and I started to not see eye to eye on this. Suddenly he became desperate to keep Quincy and wanted to find a way to make it work. He came up with all sorts of "solutions" such as "keep Quincy and Ruby separated at all times" and "let Quincy stay at someone's house until Ruby is safe with her". Neither of those are feasible answers to our problem and I could see that, but he was desperate. He loves the dog - as do I, very much - and he doesn't like doing anything difficult. He also started to blame Cadence for what happened - that she was teasing Quincy (she wasn't). He knows that's not right but again, he was desperate.
So it started to put a wedge between us. We started to fight. Things were getting ugly. And I felt absolutely rotten about the position I was suddenly in. I was the bad guy, all around.
I contacted a few rescue organizations and started the paperwork to surrender Quincy to our local Boston Terrier Rescue organization. I looked into training and rehabilitation (although I found this an unlikely solution, I still tried).
And then we got a call from Steve's parents today. They said they would take her.
Steve was so overjoyed that he broke down. He is so happy that they can take her and we will still be able to see her. His parents are retired and there are no other dogs or children in their lives. They have a big house and a big yard. When they come here to visit they will leave her at home, and when we go there she can have the run of the basement or back yard. It's as good of a situation as I could hope for.
Of course there are a few issues that I have with the situation... Like, they will let her do WHATEVER SHE WANTS. They will feed her table scraps. They will let her bark incessantly if she so desires. They will let her RUN THEIR HOUSE. I have put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into training Quincy over the years and I feel like all that work is going to be undone and she is going to get completely out of control under their care.
I know that this could also happen if she went to a stranger's house and I just wouldn't know about it. I also know that there is nothing I can do about it and I need to just hand over the leash and let whatever may happen, happen. And I plan on doing just that. I just really love Quincy and hate to see it come to this.
I knew they were considering it yesterday and so I sent them an email to say that they shouldn't do it only if they felt they HAD to. I advised that she does have some bad habits, that she does have a few health problems (bad ears) and that she eats expensive dog food that can only be purchased at the vet. I also mentioned that I do not want to be made to feel guilty every time she has to go to the vet or if she chews or scratches something they own.
There was no reply to the email. And then the call today saying they'd take her.
Alas, in this shitty situation it's the best I can do.
The dog has a home - a loving home, yes.
We can still visit her.
I don't have to get a divorce.
Everything else I will have to deal with internally.