Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Mommy time

I had a visit from a dear friend today who has an almost-six-month-old. She brought lunch and cookies and we ate and visited and drank tea and got puked on together.

We talked about everything baby. About giving birth. About our recoveries. About breastfeeding. About how much life has changed. About our husbands. About our daughters and the things they do, the things they like, the things they dislike. The good, the bad, the ugly and of course, the incredibly cute.

This was my first actual face to face visit with another mom (that didn't give birth over 10 years ago) and I had no idea how really good, really comfortable, and actually really enjoyable it could be.

I've had visits from other friends since Ruby was born. But not from anyone who has kids. And while I've enjoyed most visits - there is something to be said for sitting down with someone who is living the same life as you and can relate.

I think many of my non-mommy friends have been curious to see how I would fare as a mother. I've never been the overly maternal type (until Ruby was born). So during those visits I've kinda felt like I've been under a microscope. And so I like to at least appear that I've got this motherhood gig in the bag. And that I totally know what I'm doing and am able to keep things on the level while still being able to hold up my end of a normal conversation that doesn't include topics such as baby acne or bottles or what type of diapers that I prefer. Instead I try to keep up with who's got what new job, who's moved into what new neighborhood, who's dating, who's going on what trip and so on. And when I'm asked about baby stuff, I try not to pounce with excitement that someone is interested, because they're usually really not. They're just trying to be polite. You can see it when they glaze over when you get just a little too detailed about the puking phase that baby is currently going through.

And honestly, I can pull this shit off. No problem. I still have that other side of me, after all.

But sometimes, like today, it's just nice to be able to talk freely about that baby acne and diaper preferences without feeling like you're boring someone to death - and instead to actually have that person tell you what they used for the baby acne or what diapers work best for them (and where to find them on sale!!!).

So while I cherish any visit with a good friend, today was a first of it's kind and I found it particularly enjoyable.

Ruby with her playdate


Julia said...

I hear ya. All my friends had babies 10yrs ago and they don't want to talk baby stuff. I feel kinda alone out there trying to figure out what to buy, what doctor to use. It would be nice to have someone that's just been through it.

Aurelia said...

It is fun, isn't it? Can you join a group in your area? Like an exercise class for babies and moms? Or gymboree? or something similar?

Tara said...

Aurelia - after yesterday I am definitly going to be looking into that.

Anonymous said...

Oooh mommy time together is the best (I've been lucky enough to be included as I'm the last of our friends to get knocked up) I want to start a mommies who drink club so we can go out sans kids and kick back cosmos!

Tara said...

Emily - I'M IN! I'M IN!!! Hurry up and have your baby so we can get your club started!