I just got to the part in the book where I realized that I am reinforcing Lincoln's night waking habit by going to him every time he wakes. Duh.
I know he's not hungry every 3 hours (that's what we're up to now) but I'm afraid to not go to him and feed him because I'm afraid of that awful crying happening in the middle of the night. (Also, what if he is scared and lonely in his bed and he just wants his mom and she doesn't go to him and he decides he can't count on her anymore and so he decides he doesn't love her as much anymore.... Isn't that what a big part of this is, after all??? )
Except last night I was so tired. Exhausted. He went to bed at 6 and I was tending to him at 8pm, 11pm, 2am, then 3am...
At 3am I was so exhausted and tired of all this sleep training shit that I went to him to make sure he was ok. He was. I was not. I was too tired. My own sleep deprivation is accumulating at a rapid rate and I just couldn't keep getting up with him for no good reason. I'm not using a monitor with him because his room is right next to mine and I can hear every peep he makes. So I simply closed his bedroom door, went back to my room and turned on oscillating fan to drown out some of the noise and I went back to bed and fell right to sleep. I remember hearing him at about 4am but he wasn't screaming.
He woke up at 6am this morning and I fed him and he went back to sleep (wish I could have but Ruby was up at 5:45 and sneakily ate a slab of almond bark while I fed Lincoln).
I feel like this might be a breakthrough for us. Particularly for me. I realize I'm not doing anyone any favors by running to him every time he squeaks. By shutting his door and walking away (if only for 3 hours), I realized that I can actually leave him at night and nothing horrible will happen.
Tonight, I may take the next big step and do the door closing, fan turning on, hiding under the pillows at the beginning of the night, not the end. Time to start reinforcing some better sleep habits. Enough is enough.
3 comments:
You just needed to get there on your own. Trust me, it's OK if he's crying, and you'll hear the difference in a OMG I'M HURT cry and a MAMAMAMAMAMA cry soon enough. My pedi told me that once they were over 13 pounds, they should be able to sleep through the night (she defined sleeping through the night as 6 hours).
Thing is, once you have instilled the better sleep habits, and things are going alright, you know that when he does wake and is not able to settle himself, that there IS another reason... like he isn't feeling well or wants his mom for cuddles.
After we sleep trained A, there were (and still are) times she wakes and cries. I leave her for a few minutes still, but if it goes on, I KNOW she needs me. I know this because I know she sleeps through the night pretty much every night, and the nights she does wake she jabbers a bit and goes back to sleep. So if she wakes AND cries for more than a few, I know she is sick, or wants her mom, or scared. I will go in there in those cases.
Keep up with it, because the little guy just needs to learn that it is alright to go to sleep, that he doesn't always need mom to help him. Once he learns that and starts to sleep better in general, you will know when he really needs you and you will be well rested enough to go in there.
Really good point, Emily. That's something I hadn't thought of!
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