Christmas eve, 2010... My father in law has been diagnosed with three cancerous brain tumors.
He's been given 3 months to a year to live.
We are completely gutted.
My husband is devastated. My heart is shattering to see him so completely heartbroken. His dad is his hero. His best friend. His dad is a good man. This is wrong, all wrong.
My kids won't know their grandpa. A man who loves them so very much.
Christmas will be in the hospital this year, and it's likely our last one together with him.
I don't know what to do. I've never been through anything like this before. I feel useless. I feel helpless. I feel scared. I'm so so so sad.
I wanted this to be a good Christmas, Lincoln's first.
Things had been looking up. Steve and I were doing better. He was his old self again, lovable, happy, joking, caring - I was so excited about that. I was feeling better. I was getting help with Lincoln's sleep problems. Things were going to get better. I felt hope.
How dare I to have felt hope.
I want to fix it but I can't. I want to say all the right things but I don't know what to say. I want it all to go away.
It feels really bad right now.
How do I go through this?