Bullets

* Steve apparently spoke to his mother on Monday about her behavior on Saturday night. She says she didn't mean anything by the comment and it wasn't intended to hurt my feelings. She claims to have had no idea she did anything wrong. So typical. Steve told her that she really hurt my feelings - she doesn't understand why. I haven't heard word one from her since then. An apology? Not counting on it. Lift rug and sweep.

* Went for my beta yesterday morning. I wasn't sure how this thing works for regular folk - normally I would spend the afternoon with the phone attached to my hip, waiting for "the call" from "the clinic". So after hearing nothing I phoned my doctor's office and they told me that they don't give results over the phone and I needed to make an appointment to see the doctor to discuss the results. So I have an appointment for Friday. That seems like a long time to wait.

* Been experiencing the death hunger again. Not cool. Really hard to not gain a stack of weight when you feel like you might die from starvation every half an hour. I am thankful to not be as nauseous and sick as I was in the first tri with Ruby, but that sick, starving tummy is back. I almost threw up this morning from it.

* I got some healthy yet satisfying snacks on hand like low fat cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs, cereal and skim milk - so that when I get so hungry at least I've got something half assed healthy to snack on. And I've also decided to write down everything that I eat in hopes of keeping my food intake somewhat under control. Cuz you know that when I'm starving like that, it ain't for carrot sticks.

* Running has been really hard. I'm trying to stick to it (for the love of God, I'm only at 6 weeks!!!) but my endurance has really dropped in the past few days. It makes me frustrated and sad. I won't give up yet though. I'm hoping that if I stick to it, it will get better once the fatigue stage has passed.

* Ruby's been a bit difficult lately. She's really whiny and crying lots. It's hard right now because I feel like I haven't got the energy that I had a few weeks ago. I'm tired and blah and gross feeling. Some times when she's crying I cry too. I don't know what else to do. Some days I just can't seem to make her happy and it makes me feel like I'm not doing a good job as her mother right now. I can't help but wonder that if I was feeling better I would be able to handle her better.

* Steve's been totally kickass awesome lately. He's been helping out with Ruby a LOT. He doesn't have to be asked to change her diapers or help her when she's fussing. He lets me have a break when he's home. He's also been helping with dinner a lot. And the other day he even washed the floor... on his own... without being asked... Just awesome.

* Ruby is going to Grandma's house this weekend to give me a bit of a break. I am looking forward to going to the pub on Saturday afternoon and swilling a bunch of cold beers and eating chicken wings with blue cheese dip while watching the hockey game.

Oh... wait a minute... the above plan is currently under revision...