Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The Jig Is Up

Lincoln had his tests and urologist appointment yesterday. 

He does not have kidney reflux.  In fact, his little urinary tract works beautifully.  Everything is in the right place, everything flows in the right direction.  He does have phimosis but the urologist thought it didn't look too bad.  He feels that with the continued use of cortisone, he should outgrow it within a month or so.  He does not want to circumcise Lincoln, and would only do that as an absolute last resort (I am so glad). He also felt that Lincoln's second UTI may not have been a full blown UTI.  That there was such a small amount of bacteria detected that it likely just some bacteria from his foreskin and he probably didn't need to be treated.  So it's not as bad as we all thought.

They did take a urine sample to see if he has a current UTI and will call me by Friday if he does.

As an added bonus, the urologist examined Lincoln when he found out about Steve's fertility problems due to his undecended testicle and hernia surgeries.  Lincoln's testicles are right where they are supposed to be and his little body is perfect. 

I am so grateful and thankful and happy.

But... this means that the little bugger has been stringing me along all this time with his crying and screaming fits and his constant nursing throughout the night and his fussiness through the day.

He has been only taking two 30 minute naps a day.  Then up nursing all night and awake at 4:30am for an hour or so and up for the day usually around 6am or 6:30am. He becomes a delirious, screaming lunatic each evening, and sometimes is a fussy cranky little shit all day long. He can NOT fall asleep without my boob in his mouth. I thought he was needing the comfort for his discomfort but if he's not in any discomfort then perhaps his sleeping habits have just gotten out of control and I need to take control in order to save this family from it's misery.

I am now full on doing research into sleep problems and sleep training and all that goes along with it.  A girlfriend used Helen Sands for her son when he had similar problems and she swears by her.  I read the plan and I'm worried it's too harsh.  Or is that what it takes?  Anyone use that method?  Anyone have success with any other methods?  Any good books I should read?  Any techniques or suggestions?

Bring it on. Send me all your wisdom and advice!  I want it all - good, bad or otherwise.  I want all the info I can get so I am confident in the path I choose.  I want to end Lincoln's misery. And mine.  And Ruby's and Steve's.  (And everyone else who comes in contact with us).

I also wanted to say that I love you all.  Thank you for all your kind comments and emails in regards to my last post.  You sent me your great wisdom and concern and caring and it meant so much to me.  I felt a little less alone and a little less scared and a little more supported.  I do not know what I would do without you all.


Somewhat Ordinary said...

I'm so glad that everything is fine with Lincoln, but I know that makes his sleeping and eating habit that much more difficult to understand since there is no "reason." I have no advice just hoping something does the trick so you can sleep!

Christy said...

We have used the book "Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. It is a great resource. Firm, but not out of control. We are not cry it out parents (we tried and our son said no by screaming for 2 hours straight-never again)and yet we needed help and this book offered great solutions. THe other thing I would recommend would be to do what feels natural. If you read or hear something to try adn it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Who cares how many other people it worked for-your mommy intincts know best. Glad Lincoln is healthy-hoping you all get some peace and rest soon!

Mommy Shoes said...

So happy to hear the little man is actually doing ok. What a relief for you!

As for sleeping issues, I strongly believe that you have to do what what works for your kid. There is nothing wrong with him falling to asleep while nursing at his age. Crying it out didn't work for us because my kid would puke. It sounds like he is having trouble with sleep transitions. One thing that worked for us was to soothe by putting hands on him just so he could feel the weight of it and shush and then he would fall back to sleep. Of course, this only worked at nighttime, naps have always been horrible unless I sleep with him.
I wish I had more advice. I hope it gets better.

Mrs. X said...

Seconding Healthy Sleep Habits by Weissbluth. It sounds like Lincoln is way overtired and exhausted, hence the screaming.

We did CIO. We were fortunate that Rex was not the kind of baby to scream for hours on end before falling asleep. He would last maybe 20 minutes and then be out. While it sounds like the harshest method, it is also the quickest and getting results.

In the end, it is whatever works for you and the family.

Cece said...

I did CIO with both kids, and worked beautifully. My first (the easygoing one) fussed one and off, 10 minutes at a time - for 3 hours the first night, 1.5 the second and 40 minutes the third. I NEVER went in to reassure him or anything (that had failed miserably in the past). Was it tough? Yes. Did I feel awful while it was happening? Yes. The next morning - on the night he cried for 3 hours - he still greeted me with a big smile, and from that point on, has slept through the night with no issues. I think its harder on the parents. My ped said it's all about following through.

Funny thing, my daughter, who I slept next to (kind of like you are doing with Lincoln) for month, she had less of an issue than my son - who was in his own room at two months old. She cried and fussed for maybe 1.5 hours the first night, 30 minutes the next, and from then on slept through the night.

Just realize you are totally going to lose sleep the nights you do it - but sounds like it can't get much worse! Also , make sure your DH agrees with whatever you plan to do. If he gets fed up with the crying and goes and picks Lincoln up or feeds him or whatever, it's all over. You'll have to start over from scratch.

Emily said...

We did the Sleepeasy Solution at 4.5 months. It took 5 days. It worked like a charm.

JJ said...

So glad to hear that all is OK--whew. I was thinking about you all!
I am sorry that the sleep/eat situation continues to be a challenge--I wish I had more guidance for you! I can pass you chocolate covered pretzels though :)

Anonymous said...

So, first I want to tell you how glad I am that Lincoln does not have urinary reflux. While my daughter DID have it and was on meds for the first two years of life to avoid getting additional UTI's, and I think how much worse it could have been and how lucky we were to have the doctors we had, AI am glad you do not have to go through it. As for sleep training advice- I think you just need to get him on a schedule first. It sounds hard, but crying it out and letting him fuss and distracting him during the times he THINKS he needs to eat will I was a firm believer in co-sleeping, and it worked for us for a while, but I think you need to get him into his own bed. Let him cry for a little while before soothing him with the boob- at this point, he is learning that crying will get him what he wants, and all he knows is the boob. It might be time to get a little tough, because children, even as young as Lincoln, thrive on order and schedules and boundaries. Whatever you decide, I love reading about your family and am curious as to how you will find your own method to get your sanity back (as well as the sanity of all those affected). Much love to you, Steve, Ruby, and Lincoln....

Emily said...

Oh, I forgot to mention that we also did sleep training (sleepeasy is gentle cry-it-out) because A would ONLY fall asleep in the swing or our arms. So I was using sleep training to transition her to her crib and help her learn to self soothe.

With sleepeasy, there is allowances for night feedings. If you don't want to wean noght feedings you can still use this method. There are 'checks' with the CIO. You have to read the book, it will make sense, but you don't just leave them to cry and cry... you check in on them every 5 minutes (or whatever interval you want) and let them know you are there for them, and are not abandonimg them.

Anonymous said...

well I don't know if I can be of any help or offer any advice but I kept a journal for the 1st year of Austin's life and I went to have a look through it. I see that at about 3 months I started giving him a few spoonfuls of rice cereal and he loved it. I noticed that I also mentioned giving him some yogurt at around 4 months and at 5 months I was giving him carrots. At 5 months he was usually getting about 2 breast feedings a night. Sometimes to bed at midnight and a feeding at 2ish and again at 5ish. Something along those lines. I remember moving the crib into our room as well for a while since he outgrew the bassinet.
Maybe introducing solids will help?

Love Corney

Femme au Foyer said...

Thirding Healthy Sleep Habits by Weissbluth. I also incorporated some of what I learned in Tracy Hogg's book, "Secrets of a Baby Whisperer". What really changed things for me, however, was when I forgot to turn on the baby monitor one night. The next morning I awoke at 6 am in a panic, checked the video monitor and my little man was sleeping soundly. I surmise that he probably woke up at some point in the night and since I didn't come running, he went back to sleep (he was five months old at the time). Interestingly enough, a few months later he regressed and started waking up every night around 2 am. After three nights of this I realized that by responding to him I was training him to wake at 2, so I let him cry it out one night and we were back to normal after that.

I also recommend a video monitor, if you don't already have one. Being able to see what he was up to trained ME not to go into his room unless it was absolutely necessary.

I feel for the people whose babies vomit when they cry too long. Fortunately we did not have this problem. If we did, I wouldn't have let my little boy cry it out either.

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