Saturday, April 3, 2010

Tether Straps

Steve usually has Mondays off but was asked to work this coming Monday. We need the extra cash so we tried to find childcare for her since I also work on Monday. I asked the daycare lady but she's closed since it's Easter Monday. So I thought I would ask my mom, since she talks about how much she wishes she could be Ruby's babysitter and always jumps at the chance to spend time with her.

She said she would love to look after Ruby on Monday. So Steve got the go-ahead to work.

Then my dad got involved...

The back story is this: We have been storing some furniture in my parents basement while we rented our basement out. But that disaster was over some months ago and we've been working on getting our basement back to normal. We just haven't had the ways or means to get our two couches and one bed back to our house. My dad has an old work truck and recently picked up a a trailer to attach to it though, so he can haul our furniture for us. We just needed the opportunity.

Since tomorrow is Easter Sunday we're going to my parents for dinner. My parents suggested that Steve and my dad load up the furniture while we're there for dinner and then the next morning they will drive it to our house, babysit Ruby for the few hours that they're needed and when Steve gets home he and my dad can unload the furniture and they can be on their merry way.

Sounded like the perfect plan. Until...

My dad called me yesterday and says that when we come out on Sunday he would like to get Ruby's carseat out of my car and put it in his work truck. That way Ruby could spend the night there on Sunday and "they" wouldn't have to get up so early on Monday morning.

I told him I wasn't sure I was comfortable putting Ruby's carseat in his work truck. I told him that there are a lot of straps and hooks that attach the carseat into the vehicle. That it's not easy to hook up and that most vehicles these days have a latch on the back seat to attach the carseat to. I asked him what year his work truck is.


And it's a beater.

Yeah, Dad, I'm not crazy about this idea. Your truck isn't exactly made for a carseat.

And this is what he said, "Well if it doesn't have the right latch, I'll just tether strap it in". By which he means using the tie-downs that he uses to hold things such as tools and etc in the back, he will just strap the carseat down to the truck seat.

Bah! Why go to the trouble, Dad? She's old enough now, why don't we just throw her in the back of the pickup and she can ride back there with the furniture. I'm sure she won't fall out. It'll be an adventure for her!

What the fuck is wrong with him???!!!

Firstly, it's hard enough for me to ask for help in the first place. For him to complain that it's too early in the morning and to ask me to do this is ridiculous.

Secondly, how is it that he thinks it is acceptable to just strap the carseat in using tie-downs??? This scares the shit out of me! What else does he think is "ok"? Doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable with leaving her overnight there. Ever. Even though my mom is strictly the one responsible for her when she's there, he is still there and the years of alcohol and drug use/abuse are taking their toll on his brain. And he comes up with some of the most fucked up ideas and it's hard to shut him down once he gets on to something.

When I discussed this with my mom later (she wasn't aware he had phoned and made such suggestions), I asked, "If he thinks that's ok, then how is it that I'm almost 35 and still alive today?" And she explained that it was because he had zero involvement in raising my brother or I when we were little. He decided to step in when we became teenagers and we had already zero respect for him and revolted against him - which caused a whole lot of ugly.

In the end, Ruby is NOT staying the night on Sunday. If he/they can't help with the furniture then fine, it will stay there until we get another opportunity. If HE finds it too early in the morning to babysit his granddaughter for a few hours then HE doesn't need to come (HE wasn't asked in the first place). If my mother can't say no to him and his fucked up ideas, then I don't need her help either. I will find another solution to my problem. I always have and I will continue to do so.

1 comment:

Emily said...

His suggestion is crazy. I do believe he has the best intentions, however like you said, he is not thinking properly these days.

I do want to add...

Was in the Save on Foods parking lot the other day. Some older man (dressed well, smoking beside his nice car) was noticing me taking A out of her Quinny and putting her into her carseat (which is new). He chuckled to himself and said to me:

"It's amazing all the technology that has gone into baby things these days. You have a fancy looking car seat." (He was parked 2 stalls over and there was no one parked in between).

I said,

"Yah, they have all these safety regulations these days."

He replied,

"In my day, they didn't even have car seats. The mother would just hold the baby on the way home from the hospital. And we all turned out fine."

Anyways, he was admiring the baby gear, but his comments made me think. We DO have alot more technology now, there are more safety regulations, which are obviously in place for reasons.

So although your mom was the sole, responsible caretaker for you, and your dad seems to think he can just tether the seat in, he is from that 'generation' and he probably thinks he turned out just fine.... although you might debate that, haha.

Anyways, I would just lay down the law and tell him that Ruby can only go in a car that has proper 'hooks' for the car seat to be installed in. End of story.

Good luck! At least your mom is around to keep him in line!