Sunday, April 11, 2010

Lost

I'm in a weird place with this blog. Not sure what to write about. Feel kind of lost in limbo as I don't really feel like I fit into any one slot or with any particular community.

Granted I spent my share of time in the trenches of IF. Going through 2 IVFs have marked me for life and I will always be attached to the IF community.

Then with the successful IVF, I was still attached to the IF community but also to the Parenting After IF community. And maybe some Mommy Blogs too. Although you always lose some readers when you make that transition from one side to the other.

And then came the surprise pregnancy. Well that just seemed to send me to the dark side where fewer and fewer people can relate to me and therefore I'm in a much, much smaller group of commrades. Throw in the struggle I've had with accepting the pregnancy and I might even venture to say that I've been shunned somewhat by whatever small group of followers I still had.

Oh I know there's a few of you troopers that still come here from time to time to see what I'm up to - and I love and appreciate every single one of you.

But now what do I write about? Sure there's the odd post about IF when it comes up. And there's the odd post about parenting Ruby. There's the odd post about my current pregnancy but I don't have a lot to say since this isn't my first rodeo and I'm kind of just rolling along. It's not as if I don't know what to expect like my last pregnancy and I wrote about every little thing that happened to my body - hoping somebody could explain it. And if I wrote about all the things I struggle with NOW? Well...

*tap* *tap* *tap* "Is this thing on???"

So I don't know where to go from here. Thought about throwing in the towel and just moving on, but that doesn't feel right either. I seem to have lost my blogging groove and I have no idea how to get it back.

12 comments:

serenity said...

Not sure if my lurking helps - but I read every post of yours.

IMO, what you need to do is blog for YOU. Get all the stuff out that you need to. The worries over having two kids so close together and how you'll manage (if you're worried about it). The happiness of not having to go back through IVF again. Whatever YOU need to blog about, blog about it.

I had a hard time switching from IF blogger to mom-after-IF blogger myself.

I think there's a place for your voice in this space. Obviously you need to do what's best for you and your family, so I would understand if you decided to stop blogging. But I'd hate to see you go, too.

xxx

Jericho said...

No matter what you want to write about, we're still here...checking in. We love you!

Tobacco Brunette said...

I'm always asking myself about my blog, "what the hell is this about, anyway?" I also go through stages where I really want to write, but most of the time I'm so bogged down with work and parenting that I have little time, energy or interest in writing.

But we're here. We read...we read. We should comment more for sure. Hope you figure things out.

XOXO

Alicia said...

I have lost my will to blog. For now, I set mine to private until I'm ready to write again. Nothin' wrong with that.

I'm still here; I still read:)

annacyclopedia said...

I TOTALLY hear you, Tara. This is a big part of the reason why I'm not blogging much these days myself. It sort of feels like having to redefine myself, or at least the "myself" who writes the blog, in response to the changes in my life. It's tricky.

I'm sorry I'm not commenting more - it's part of the whole time thing that I'm struggling with at the moment - but know that I am always reading and keeping you in my thoughts.

JJ Keith said...

The community thing is tricky. You may not fit neatly into any one community, but your perspective is still valuable and interesting. I struggled with fertility and now I'm pregnant with my second, so you and I are kinda in the same community, right? There's nothing wrong with taking a break, but I, for one, really enjoy reading what you write.

Just Jen said...

I agree, I love reading your posts. Always have, always will.

JJ said...

Youve been a blogging warrior! Dont go anywhere, missy!

Chili said...

I sucked ass at the transition to 'mommy blogger'. Hence why I just updated my blog for the first time in over a year, and at that I didn't say much! I still check in on you, and I'd miss you if you were gone!

Candi said...

I hear you...I'm right along side of you! I have lost a few readers as well.

I agree with serenity though...blog for you! I'm sure you have many interesting and wonderful thoughts, and alot to offer the rest of us! I truly enjoy reading your blog!!

HANG IN THERE :)

chicklet said...

I'm with Serenity that this is your space, and you just have to re-define it. I struggle every so often with feeling boring and tired and like blogging's an effort cuz I can't think of anything interesting, and then I get back to realizing it's about me spewing - and then I'm back. Maybe take a little break, with no pressure or set date on when to return. Give yourself some head space:-)

Emily said...

Don't go anywhere.

You're blogging is for YOU. If people choose to read, or not, that's their decision. I am in a blogging funk right now. I just don't feel the urge to write much. I know I'm boring. But know what? It's MY blog, and I'll blog whenever and about whatever I want to.

I'm reading.

I also know what it's like to lose readers. I'm not part of the infertility community any longer. I am currently trying to wrap my head around (and try to blog about) what just happened to me. I know that you know what I'm talking about. I'm really not sure where I fit in. Am I an imposter in the infertility world? An imposter in the parenting after infertility world?

So I hear ya.

Keep blogging lady.