Thursday, April 29, 2010


~Had an U/S last week to see if the placenta had moved away from the cervix and indeed it has. The tech told me the baby was about 5lb3oz – which at 32 weeks had me freaking out a bit.

~Had a midwife appt yesterday and was advised that the tech’s math was wrong and the boy is only about 4ish pounds. Much better. His head is in the 64th percentile – which I’m cool with. His legs are in the 88th percentile. Another long one. I’m ok with that as long as the head stays a reasonable size.

~Got my hair done yesterday for the first time in a long time. Haven’t had it cut in about 7 months and I haven’t had it colored professionally in quite a few years. I was nervous about getting it done but it turned out quite nice and I’m pleased with it. Haven’t been able to get a picture of it since I got home late-ish last night and this morning when I was trying to style it I had a monster hanging off my pant leg so I didn’t get to do much more than straighten out the odd kink.

~Having some struggles with my relationship with Steve lately. I’m so frustrated and upset when we don’t see eye to eye. He’s not a talker so I try to ask a million questions of him to try to sort things out. But he will always say “nothing is wrong”, or that I’m being a bitch about things or that I have misunderstood something he said. He’s a really bad procrastinator which right now is making me insane considering I am freaking out a bit and need things to get taken care of. I can ask him a million times to fix/clean/paint/move something and in the end I will do it myself. I think it would make him feel bad for not doing it and allowing his 7 ½ months pregnant wife to do it but it doesn’t seem that way. I’m not sure where to go or what to do about our struggles. (This is the fairly glossed over version of what's really going on)

~My 35th birthday is tomorrow. I should be in Vegas committing heinous debaucheries that I would regret for the rest of my life, but I will instead be going out for dinner with my husband while my mom babysits. Still not a bad deal. Steve said he would grab me a card tonight and then maybe on Sunday he will get me a present. Why can’t he understand how much it would mean to me to wake up tomorrow morning with something special waiting for me? I’ve told him as much. I do know I will be disappointed, so I’m prepping my mind for that.

~Really getting stressed out at work. I wanted to be done on May 28 but since feet were dragged in regards to hiring someone to replace me, I am going to have to stay on into the first week of June. I know I’m not due until June 16th but I would have liked a little time to myself before life gets crazier. Also I don’t feel confident in my abilities to train someone. And I no longer have an office but a cubicle and everyone in this office can hear every word I say and will hear me word for word while I’m training someone. I feel self conscious about that. My replacement starts this coming Monday and I am dreading it so much.

~I briefly mentioned this in my last post but to elaborate – my daycare is closing at the end of May, permanently. I am SO SAD about this. I went through so much hell trying to find a good daycare for Ruby and I really like the woman that cares for her now. I wouldn’t have been able to afford (nor would I have wanted to) continue sending Ruby there full time while I am on mat leave but I did plan on sending her there once a week or once every 2 weeks. I was looking forward to having a potential “babysitter” for the odd day if I needed to do something. Now I have nobody again and have to start all over. Not to mention that first week of June when I had planned to be off but now have to work?

~Thanks for all your support on my past couple of posts. It means so much to me. Really, it does.


Emily said...

Oh honey this is so much stuff to deal with. I don't know what to suggest but just know I hear you on so many of these things and am sending you huge, huge hugs and birthday wishes!

Femme au Foyer said...

I can commiserate on the birthday "stuff". I was married before and I used to face the same disappointment (and also the same lack of communication). That just sucks, and I wish I had better words of encouragement for you.

Actually, it was surreal reading your recount of your conversations with Steve. That's exactly how mine with my ex used to go. Those one-sided, dead-end conversations made me want to scream (and I'm not a screamer). I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this. I hope you have a wonderful birthday in spite of all this.

Aurelia said...

As crazy as this all is, it will work out. :)

Glad to hear about the placenta!

Alternative babysitter ideas? Why not try hiring an older teenager or college student to come in once a week to your house and help out, and after you get to know them, maybe you can leave them with the kids for an hour or two and work up from there.

For now, Happy Birthday, and I'm so glad you are around and still blogging, unlike lazy bums like me. ;)

Now post a pic of the hair!

Me said...

Not the best person to give relationship advice...but keep trying...once the communication stops it kinda all goes south (from my experience anyways).

I am around and just blocks away if you need to drop the babes off...I am off every Friday...take advantage...I don't mind at and would really enjoy it!

Happy 35th Birthday to a VERY beautiful woman. You are a wonderful friend and a kick ass Mom and Wife.

Don't stress on the little things...count to ten and let it go.

Enjoy your day, you deserve tons of happiness!

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I am so sorry that the relationship issues are causing you stress. I know how difficult marriage can be and if you ever need to talk I'm here for you. After the shit I've been through the past 2 years you can't shock me. Stay strong-not too much longer and you'll be meeting your son!