You know what gets on my nerves? People who whine and complain all the time with nothing positive to say. And if you look back at my last few posts you will find that that has been me lately. So yes, I am annoying myself and getting on my own nerves and that is why I haven’t posted in a little while.
It's just a fact though, that I’m finding this second pregnancy really difficult for a variety of different reasons.
A couple of times in the past couple of weeks I was going to do a big ra-ra post, drenched in positivity and encouragement and boosting myself in the right direction. But the urge to write something like that seems to take so much energy. Right.
And so you might expect THIS post to be that ra-ra post but it’s not. I wouldn’t even be posting but I think yesterday needs to be recorded. (For what reason I’m not sure.)
Tuesday morning I woke up with some pain/aching in my back that radiated through my belly (for the record I knew it was not early labour). It came and went in waves so when I wasn’t feeling one of those waves, I felt fine. About halfway through the day though, I threw in the towel and went home to bed. I slept for 1 ½ hours and felt good but as soon as I got up I was hit with another wave of pain/discomfort.
I called my midwife just to let her know what was going on and from what I described she was stumped. She finally asked if maybe I could just possibly have a stomach virus and I said I supposed so – even though I felt fine in between waves. We left it at that as I had an appointment the next morning anyways. But throughout the evening I kept getting that yucky pain/discomfort and it woke me up a few times during the night.
The next day at the midwife appointment we discussed the pain and how it felt and where it was coming from. She thought I might be having a kidney problem. A urine dipstick showed that I had some protein in my urine.
She decided she wanted me seen at the hospital by Labour and Delivery. She called ahead and said she was sending me in for an assessment and she was advised that I would have to be admitted through Emergency and then they would send an L&D nurse down to get me. She then sent me off to the hospital with my medical records and letter saying that I was to be seen at L&D.
And then I got to the hospital and checked in at Emergency where the admitting nurse decided that I didn’t need to go to L&D, that they would treat me there instead.
And so I spent 4 ½ hours at Emergency. I was given a urine test, several blood tests and then an ultrasound that was smaller than my laptop. The doctor administering the laptop ultrasound admitted to me that he isn’t a radiologist and can’t really see if something is wrong or not. He did point out the baby and that the baby had a spine.
I spent the majority of the time in the waiting room waiting for my test results. The last time I saw the doctor he told me that so far nothing was wrong with me but there was another test yet to come back.
Eventually I just got up and walked out. It was stupid being there. I was treated like just another whiny loser – which believe it or not, I’m not. I don’t believe in going to emergency unless there is an… emergency. I wouldn’t have been there unless I was given orders to go. I would have rather been at home laying down than sitting with the sicky, yucky, fucked up people surrounding me in the ER.
Or better yet, I would have rather been at L&D getting proper tests done and leaving with either a diagnosis or some sort of assurance.
Anyways, today I feel a bit better. The pain has subsided for the most part. I do feel a bit crampy / periodish today but I’ll be damned if I’m going to complain about it to anyone. If anything major happens like my uterus falls out, THEN I might go ahead and call someone. Until then, I’ll just keep my suffering to myself (and maybe the internet).