Ruby had her 12 month checkup today at the doctors. The doctor noted that she’s perfectly healthy and alert and happy (and entertaining). Our big concern though, is that the kid does not like to eat food. Drinking bottles, she’s fine but eating food is a huge challenge. There are very few foods that she will eat. One day she likes something and the next day she chews it, then digs it out of her mouth and chucks it. She loves throwing food more than eating. It makes me crazy.
So today the doc confirmed that she needs to start eating more solids, less milk. He wants us to get her off the bottle because she’s become too reliant on it. She needs to get her milk from a sippy cup now. He says that with taking the bottle away, she’ll get hungry enough and she’ll start eating. I’m not so sure it will be that easy but I agree with him that this needs to be done. She eats like a little bird. I think a lot of her issues with food are texture related. She’ll usually take at least one bite of anything I offer, but then she starts swinging her arms like propellers around her face when we go in for bite #2. After a meal, the area around her highchair is like a mine field of discarded, chewed up, flung food.
I realized today that she’s been running the show in regards to her poor eating habits. It needs to change and it’s going to. It’s just going to be hard for a while. I know it and I need to mentally prepare for it.
In other food related news, I’m working on finding myself a better eating plan. I really don’t want to gain 68lbs again. I’ve already gained 13 in just 17 weeks so I need to work on getting things under control and not letting the pregnancy be my excuse for turning a blind eye to the scale. Upon the approval of my midwife, I’ve tried to do a bit of a modified Weight Watchers plan – one where I eat more than the regular plan would let me, but still having a daily limit and keeping track of everything and being accountable. My midwife said I could do this as long as I followed some rules. I’m not to allow myself to starve. I need to eat smaller meals every couple of hours. I need to have protein with every meal. The first week was really hard. Maybe too hard. I was really hungry and therefore mentally and physically drained and I was miserable and depressed. It didn’t feel good and so I know it wasn’t right. So this week I’ve decided that instead of quitting, I need to make some more modifications. I’m not allowing myself to get so hungry but I will try to fill the void with healthy options. I need to keep tweaking it until I get it right. I’m not going to hurt myself or the baby so please don’t lecture me about doing this. I want to be healthy both physically and mentally.
I do not want to give birth in June and have a load of extra weight on me during the summer while caring for a newborn and a toddler and feeling like shit about myself. I don’t want to have to hide in my house all summer because I’m too fat to go anywhere and feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Not that I see myself stepping out on the town all that much (or ever) because I think I might be a little bit busy. Anyways, it’s important to me that I take care of myself and somewhat manage my weight gain now, to make things easier come June and beyond.
It’s unfortunate that Ruby and I couldn’t find some happy medium between us, she could have a little of my appetite and I could have a little of her food aversion. But for now it’s a battle in opposite directions for the two of us. Wish us luck.