Friday, January 15, 2010


A month after all the bullshit is over, I finally filed a complaint against the daycare that treated Ruby so shitty.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to even file a complaint because I just wanted to move on with my life and forget that shit ever happened. But numerous, NUMEROUS people who I talked to told me that I needed to make the complaint. If not for what happened to us then for the next poor little munchkin that took Ruby’s place. EVERY person I talked to told me to file a complaint.

The other reason I wasn’t keen on filing a complaint was because I didn’t want to come across as an over protective mother. I had no “evidence” that anything bad happened and I had nothing solid against the owner of the daycare.

But yesterday after my mom’s boss told her that it is my responsibility as a human being and a parent to report this woman and if I didn’t then she would – I went ahead and phoned the licensing board and made my complaint.

And… it went just as I hope it wouldn’t. After spilling my guts about all that went on, the woman in charge of licensing said, “Is this your first child?”

And I knew I was fucked.

She then went on to lecture me. “When we go back to work after having our first child we feel some guilt. We feel that we should be able to stay at home with our child. And then when they are in daycare you want them to be treated exactly the way you treat them at home and when there are differences it can be quite upsetting…”

Uh-huh… (Just get me off the fucking phone)

Did you not interview Melissa (daycare provider) before Ruby started daycare? And did you not see any red flags? Because it is really important that you find a daycare with the same values as you.”

Uh-huh… (Just get me off the fucking phone)

It’s just like diapering. You might like your child to have her diaper changed three times a day and the care provider might only do it twice a day. You need to find a place that does it three times a day if that’s what you want.”

Uh-huh… (Just get me off the fucking phone)

So, then… is your complaint that she told you that she would no longer provide care for your daughter???”

NO. I’m glad she stopped providing care for my daughter. That was the best thing that she could have done.

I guess your main complaint would be her professionalism then?”


Ok, well just so you know we’ll go ahead and investigate this complaint and we won’t mention your name but once we discuss the situation with her she’s going to know it was you.”

I don’t care.

Alright then, well we might be phoning you again with some more questions.”



It really sucked. And I felt shitty about it all night (and still today). Either I didn’t articulate myself properly or else the people who really should give a shit about how our children are treated – don’t. She actually made me feel stupid for making the complaint.

But I did what I could do. It’s off my chest and off my back now. I just hope that more shit and hassle doesn’t come out of this for ME than for the daycare.


Alicia said...

The whole diaper example is stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Grrrrrr.

You found Ruby's morning bottle still in the bag. That means your child did not get fed. THAT is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And it should be investigated.

Whether you have 1 child or 15, no one should treat a child the way Ruby was treated. Period.

I'm glad you filed. Even if nothing comes of your specific complaint, she now HAS a file. When the next one comes across their desk, maybe they won't be so high and mighty about it all.

Anonymous said...

You did the right thing Tara. Regardless of what they said, or tried to make you feel like you were the problem.. who cares. The complaint was made and come what may, SHE will know you made a complaint and that will bug her and that's good enough for me. She just needs to know that someone is on to her. Just the thought that there is a complaint on file about her will totally bug her ass. Looks good on her. She's in the wrong profession and I don't think you'll be the last caring in-tune Mom that will catch on to her.
You did the right thing. Now you can forget about it. Ruby's outta there and that's what matters.
You have every right to feel mad about the way they (the complaint department) made you feel. But you have any reason whatsoever to feel stupid so... DON'T.
Love you muchly

JJ said...

You DEFINITELY did the right thing!!

Me said...

You did the right thing! You have saved someones baby from being treated poorly, including your own. Doesn't matter what the lady on the other end of the phone thinks, it is her JOB to investigate the complaint even if she thinks it is from a "first-time-over-protective" mom - 99.9% of the time a moms instinct is RIGHT!