I got my proof today that the problem was the care provider and not Ruby.
I took Ruby to my girlfriend’s house this morning. She ever so kindly offered to take her. She has a little guy who is only a couple of hours older than Ruby. Oh how I worried about this. I knew that she would be in great hands, but I worried that Ruby would have a day-long meltdown and refuse to nap and be the demon that the daycare lady said she was. I worried that by the end of the day my girlfriend would be frazzled and never want to see Ruby or me ever again.
However… I dropped her off this morning and she apparently cried a bit when I left. But she was given some TLC and her soother and within a few minutes she flung her soother across the room and started playing with the toys. Then an hour later she crawled over to her bag and pulled out her blanket and started rubbing her eyes, so M (the good M – my girlfriend, not bad M – daycare lady) laid her down and she had a nap (WHAT??? Allowing her to nap when she needs it??? What a concept!) She got up an hour or so later and started playing with M’s little guy. Not antisocial whatsoever. I’ve had little updates throughout the day and it sounds like Ruby is having a great day. I am so happy.
All she needed was someone to care for her and be gentle with her when she was feeling a little bit nervous. Although this is what I suspected, now I know the truth.
(Thanks so much, M. I owe you big.)