Friday, March 20, 2009

Totally Stylin' Tattoo Mommy

You may have already seen it - Mattell has released Totally Stylin' Tattoo Barbie.

And Ruby is so getting one. (Although I'm thinking of getting Totally Stylin' Tattoo Nicki because she's brunette and so am I.)

Of course she's too young for it now but one day she'll be old enough to play with Barbies and then Tattoo Barbie might not be around anymore. And I want her to have one.

My mother vehemently despises my tattoos and lets me know about it at every opportunity that she gets. So when I told her about Tattoo Barbie she snarled up her nose and made a big deal about it, wondering why I would EVER want Ruby to have such a thing! And while she was at it, my dad was bringing up the rear, showing his disgust as well.

It made me feel bad inside.

I've said it before, I'll be fucking damned if they're going to do that to Ruby.

Because how will it make Ruby feel when her grandma says mean things about her mommy because mommy has some colors and pictures on her arm? Is mommy "bad" then?? Is grandma "bad" for saying mean things about mommy?

I know we have a little while before this becomes an issue but I needed to nip it in the bud (besides, I'm so tired of this shit and it needs to stop).

So I mulled it over for a couple of days until I knew just what I wanted to say and then waited for the right opportunity to bring it up. The opportunity presented itself last night, and so we had our first (probably of many) conversation about what will and will NOT be tolerated around Ruby.

I let my mother know that we are not going to bring Ruby up thinking that tattoos are "bad". By the same token we are also not going to teach her that they are "good" either. They just are. Some people have them. Some people don't. Everybody in the world is different. Everybody looks different. Looking different doesn't make you a bad or a good person. That comes from inside.

She said, "So you want me to keep my mouth shut about your tattoos then."

I told her yes, my tattoos and anyone else's for that matter. That she is free to think whatever she wants about them and she can hate them to her hearts content but she is NOT to express those negative thoughts to Ruby or in Ruby's presence. Starting now.

End of story.

She agreed to it. (Smart lady)

And anyways, to be brutally honest... I really don't think she truly despises them as much as she makes out. I think she thinks she SHOULD hate them because she's my mom. And that when other people see them they will look down on me so she has to make sure everyone knows that SHE doesn't agree with them so that she won't look bad too. Something like that anyways.

In the meantime I'm picking up the Barbie this weekend. And god help me to keep it in the package and not take it out and play with it myself and get Barbie all tatty'd up.

(I also just bought Ruby a Sophie... just to keep things balanced... just so you know...)


Candi B. said...

i, too, am a totally stylin tattoo mommy...and my mom is the same way. it truly is a pain in the ass. i'd better pick up a doll too, to put away for the daughter that i WILL have someday! tattooed moms unite!!! lol, we ARE pretty sweet-ass, aren't we?? how many tattoos do u have in your collection? i have 8...and counting, of course!

Tara said...

Candi - I have a couple small ones here and then but I also have a full sleeve that goes from my shoulder blade, under my arm, over the side of my chest and then all the way down my arm to my wrist.

Yeah I'm really popular with mom when we go out for dinner and I wear short or no sleeves.

Hopefully this conversation will stem the snide remarks and give her something to think about.

noswimmers said...

That is SO cool...whoodua thunk BARBIE of all companie would come out with a tattoo doll? Good for you for putting your foot down with your mom!

Emily said...

"Some people have them. Some people don't. Everybody in the world is different. Everybody looks different. Looking different doesn't make you a bad or a good person. That comes from inside."

I totally agree with this. Eg: Gabe isn't a fan of tattos for himself, but most of his friends have tattoos, a few have most of their body tattood. Just because Gabe doesn't like them for himself doesn't mean he thinks people with tattoos are 'bad'. It's what's in the inside that counts. People have different tastes in everything! It doesn't make them a bad person because they like or dislike something. As long as they don't push their views on others, that's what's important!

Julia said...

They really have come along way with Barbie, I think it's great that theay the "real world" Barbie now.

I'm proud of you for sticking to your guns with Mom. Maybe she'll get a TAT too!

Sandra said...

Hell yeah - good for you for being strong enough to do what is right by you. Your daughter will learn that from you.

sara said...

That sounds so cool...the Barbie that is! I'm sorry about your mom, sometimes they can be so harsh. It's not what you need. Moms should just be there, there through tatoos, infertility or anything. I know you'll be there for your little one...and that is awesome.

chicklet said...

If I get to that point, and I have a girl, she will sooooo have this doll. Cuz I have 2 tattoos now and am waiting on getting my 3rd until this all plays out.

As for your mum, I think it's awesome that she agreed to keep quiet. I worry about my inlaws and my mother, and the things they'll say that I don't want my kid picking up on. Hopefully I'll get to deal with those issues too...