Thursday, June 10, 2010

Is this normal??

I don't know what to do with Ruby. She's making me nuts. My god I love her more than I could ever express but I am not having a good time lately.

She has all sorts of toys to play with but she doesn't want to play with them - even if I play with her. She wants things that are mine.

I can no longer do anything on the computer as long as she is awake (she's napping now). It makes her crazy and he NEEDS to push all the buttons. I have sent so many nonsensical, half written emails because she is reaching over me slamming on the keyboard.

I can't do housework because she doesn't want me to. When I try to prepare a meal she will wedge herself in between me and the counter and push me away from it. All while whining.

She wants me to pick her up - but only if I'm standing or walking or trying to do something. If I try to sit down with her she gets pissed and whines. It doesn't work well with my current physical condition.

If I am on the phone she wants the phone. She will fight me to push the buttons while I'm trying to talk. This goes double for my Blackberry. She's obsessed with it.

She doesn't want me to wear sunglasses - she wants to take them off, put them on, give them to her dad, break the arms off them, put them on me, stick the arms of them into my eyeballs.

I can not sit at the table and read the paper, she wants up and will cry and whine until I let her up onto my lap - she will then proceed to grab the paper and throw it all over the floor.

She signs food or drink and then will only eat a few bites before she throws it all on the floor. But when I try to clean it up she hangs off me and cries.

Sometimes she wants ME to eat her food. And she loses it when I won't. But she doesn't give up. She will push it in my face and smear it on me or my clothes until I take it away. Then she cries.

There is no television watching. I have tried every cartoon ever made, I've tried the Doodlebops, the Yo Gabba Gabba, Sesame Street - whatever. She couldn't give a shit about the TV. Yes, I know this is supposed to be good but my god sometimes I would give anything for a few minutes of peace.

When I eat she whines. She acts like she wants what I have but when I give her a bite she spits it on the floor (oh my god I can't tell you how crazy that makes me). She wants to play with my fork (smashing it on the plate). She doesn't want her water, she wants mine.

When I have to go pee I try to occupy her and then I race to the bathroom but she's never far behind. In the time it takes me to pee she can unravel an entire roll of toilet paper, pull out every tampon and pad I own and thow them all over the bathroom, eat a half a bar of soap, empty the garbage and wave around the toilet brush.

She also started biting me again. Yesterday she bit my nipple. No, she's not being breastfed - she just somehow knew to pick the most painful and vulnerable place on my body. Oh, and it was while I was on the phone.

And it's not the same when Steve is home. She's much better behaved for him. She doesn't bite him or act like a little psychotic maniac with him (usually). Is it me? What the hell can I do different? What am I doing wrong. What. The. Fuck??? I'm fairly limited right now as to what I can do with her. Not to mention it's been raining pretty much every day since I have been off work so there's not a lot of going outside lately either.

Maybe she's bored or maybe she's not burning enough energy - or maybe she just plain enjoys tormenting me?

Honestly, I am being reduced to tears. I don't know what to do. I'm 9 months pregnant and I'm in constant pain and discomfort and I just can't keep up. My mental health is being tested.

What's going to happen when I have to look after a newborn too? What will happen then? What will happen until then? I'm going crazy and I'm getting really scared of what my future looks like.


Somewhat Ordinary said...

I actually think this is totally normal for a toddler. It isn't fun and it isn't easy, but it is a phase. I think they also save most of this crazy behavior for their moms because they know we will always love them despite being hellions! I know it isn't good timing for you, but it will come and go and come back again for some time.

Just Jen said...

Thanks for the visual! You crack me up!

For what it's worth it must be the age, they just want to be independantly busy and into everything. Sums up what is happening at our house too. I am constantly being reassured when I ask that it is just a phase and it will pass.

I sure hope so.

JJ said...

I have no assvice--Im just sorry you are being tested so much while being soooo very pregnant. So sorry, sweetie. Lots of hugs!

Sarah @ said...

Maybe she's just acting up because she has some sort of vague notion that her life is about to change? I think kids intuit that stuff much better than we think.

You can do this, Tara, honestly, you can. You've come this far and you can keep going. It might not be easy sailing, but eventually things will fall into place.

Alicia said...

I don't know if it'll actually make you feel better, but this is normal girl toddler behavior. Ellie never let me do ANYTHING pretty much from the moment she was born. Finally, around age 2, I was able to start doing housework and other things while she was playing. I'd only get 15 minutes or so, but 15 minutes is better than nothing. I was never able to talk on the phone or go on the computer AT ALL the first 2 years, unless Harry was home to keep her occupied. I always wondered how my friends were able to have online time and phone time while caring for their kids. Ends up their kids weren't the time and attention-suckage kind of toddlers like mine was. All kids are different, but Ruby's behavior is totally not uncommon.

That doesn't make it any easier though. Sorry, girl.

Me said...

Wow, did you just write about my life?!

I think this is normal, it happens over here daily so I gotta say it is normal. I hope it is normal.

Don't stress about it too much, just ignore it for the most part. I think they will grow out of it. Must be a phase of "mine" right should pass.

OR...wear earplugs ;)

Candi said...

Sadly, its totally normal. Sounds just like Carter. God help us!!

Emily said...

Uggggg! I actually think its all part of the toddler "charm".

But have you tried wearing her out? Do you have playgroups near you? (check out your local Strong Start for September - its free and all morning, 5 days a week - AMAZING)

How is she in the pool? We call the pool the nap maker because 30 minutes in the pool turns into 2 hour naps - FAB!

I also think she's picking up on your tiredness and frustration and the fact that she's about to be usurped as the most important person in your life.

Hang in there honey! xoxo