I don't know what to do with Ruby. She's making me nuts. My god I love her more than I could ever express but I am not having a good time lately.
She has all sorts of toys to play with but she doesn't want to play with them - even if I play with her. She wants things that are mine.
I can no longer do anything on the computer as long as she is awake (she's napping now). It makes her crazy and he NEEDS to push all the buttons. I have sent so many nonsensical, half written emails because she is reaching over me slamming on the keyboard.
I can't do housework because she doesn't want me to. When I try to prepare a meal she will wedge herself in between me and the counter and push me away from it. All while whining.
She wants me to pick her up - but only if I'm standing or walking or trying to do something. If I try to sit down with her she gets pissed and whines. It doesn't work well with my current physical condition.
If I am on the phone she wants the phone. She will fight me to push the buttons while I'm trying to talk. This goes double for my Blackberry. She's obsessed with it.
She doesn't want me to wear sunglasses - she wants to take them off, put them on, give them to her dad, break the arms off them, put them on me, stick the arms of them into my eyeballs.
I can not sit at the table and read the paper, she wants up and will cry and whine until I let her up onto my lap - she will then proceed to grab the paper and throw it all over the floor.
She signs food or drink and then will only eat a few bites before she throws it all on the floor. But when I try to clean it up she hangs off me and cries.
Sometimes she wants ME to eat her food. And she loses it when I won't. But she doesn't give up. She will push it in my face and smear it on me or my clothes until I take it away. Then she cries.
There is no television watching. I have tried every cartoon ever made, I've tried the Doodlebops, the Yo Gabba Gabba, Sesame Street - whatever. She couldn't give a shit about the TV. Yes, I know this is supposed to be good but my god sometimes I would give anything for a few minutes of peace.
When I eat she whines. She acts like she wants what I have but when I give her a bite she spits it on the floor (oh my god I can't tell you how crazy that makes me). She wants to play with my fork (smashing it on the plate). She doesn't want her water, she wants mine.
When I have to go pee I try to occupy her and then I race to the bathroom but she's never far behind. In the time it takes me to pee she can unravel an entire roll of toilet paper, pull out every tampon and pad I own and thow them all over the bathroom, eat a half a bar of soap, empty the garbage and wave around the toilet brush.
She also started biting me again. Yesterday she bit my nipple. No, she's not being breastfed - she just somehow knew to pick the most painful and vulnerable place on my body. Oh, and it was while I was on the phone.
And it's not the same when Steve is home. She's much better behaved for him. She doesn't bite him or act like a little psychotic maniac with him (usually). Is it me? What the hell can I do different? What am I doing wrong. What. The. Fuck??? I'm fairly limited right now as to what I can do with her. Not to mention it's been raining pretty much every day since I have been off work so there's not a lot of going outside lately either.
Maybe she's bored or maybe she's not burning enough energy - or maybe she just plain enjoys tormenting me?
Honestly, I am being reduced to tears. I don't know what to do. I'm 9 months pregnant and I'm in constant pain and discomfort and I just can't keep up. My mental health is being tested.
What's going to happen when I have to look after a newborn too? What will happen then? What will happen until then? I'm going crazy and I'm getting really scared of what my future looks like.