Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Where I'm at...

The sleep training continues with Lincoln.  I have made so much progress from the days of hourly wakings through the night and two 30 minute naps.  However, at only 8 (or is it 9?) days into it, we're still a far way off from having healthy sleep habits cemented.  What does that mean?  It means I continue to be fairly housebound.  Linc needs to be put down for each of his three daytime naps within 2 hours of waking from his previous sleep.  In those two hours he needs to be given a bottle, fed solids, played with, exercised, diaper changed and whatever else a 6 month old requires.  Have I mentioned he's passed the 20lb mark now??  (Oh my aching back!) And in the meantime I have a two year old who doesn't stop talking (bless her intelligent little heart but sometimes I just want quiet) or going and going and going and who hasn't quite mastered the skill of independent play yet.


Then there is the devastation of my father-in-law's terminal cancer diagnosis.  It has been so trying (not to mention heart shattering) on the family.  My husband and his dad are particularly close and it's so sad to see how much this hurts him.  I have been busy trying to be everything I can be to those who need it during this time.

Yesterday there was a "big" doctors appointment.  My FIL was going to find out if the treatment to shrink his brain tumor is working and if it would be worthwhile to continue treatment.  We were all sick with worry what the outcome would be.  Steve and I had been to the house with the kids to visit him on the weekend and I was a little bit surprised at how sick he was.  He could barely find the energy for one word sentences.  He was in and out of sleep the whole time were were there.  He had been refusing to eat and fighting with MIL to take his medication.  So you can understand how shocked we all were when the doctor told him he was very happy with his progress and that he should be able to golf a round within 3-5 weeks.  I did not understand how this could be!  But apparently in the past few days he's gotten stronger and has eaten a bit and scans show that his tumor is shrinking a bit.  This has offered up some hope for everyone (especially Steve) that we all might get a little more time with him, some of it quality time where he is physically and mentally able. 

My girlfriend who is starting up her own photography business has offered to do family pictures for us for free once FIL is a bit stronger and able to be up and about.  I hadn't thought of it but what a wonderful idea.  I am so excited about this and hope that we can make it happen. 

And, because I don't like things to be too easy, I decided to rejoin Weight Watchers.  I figured my life struggles aren't going anywhere anytime soon and I am packing around a lot of extra weight which I truly do not like - so why not just go for it now. I'm a bit of an emotional eater (understatement) and with all the stress and emotion that I have in my life right now, a bit of direction and control is just what I need or I could really be in trouble.  No, I can't afford it nor do I have the extra time for it but with some encouragement from a friend I decided that I needed to do this, now, for me.  It is hard for sure with everything else going on around me, but I deserve to feel good about myself and my appearance and so I will pinch pennies and find the time to do the program and I WILL be successful at it. 

Right now I have both kids napping.  It takes a bit of work but I have been able to make that happen every once in a while and I enjoy it so very, very much.  A bit of quiet time during the day is so very needed by me right now.  And so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to lay here on the couch and stare at the roof for whatever quiet time I have remaining...


Me said...

Tara, your plate is full but you are such a strong woman you will survive all of it with grace. I am happy to hear your FIL is getting better...that is wonderful news for everyone. Don't forget to take time for yourself a few times a day...sip your tea extra slow, stand in the shower for an extra few moments (the earth won't mind too much) or just put some music on and dance with the kids...just don't forget about you while you are thinking about everyone else in your life during this busy and difficult time. xoxo

Eb 40+ said...

Wow, you are some women! Great news about your FIL, congratulations to you all.
I am really in awe of how much you are doing. I managed to wobble to weight watchers last weekend. It felt amazing just to walk through the doors. I took both kids since that was the only way I could get there.
Good luck with everything and congratulations on all you are doing.

Alicia said...

I second the few extra minutes in the shower. I do that every day, and it makes a world of difference.

I'm glad to hear there's a little light shining on FIL's sickness. Every little bit helps.

As for WW, it does keep you not only accountable but honest with yourself. For me, that's the most important part.

Emily said...

You are incredible Tara. You have so much going on and yet I can tell you are being a fabulous wife and mother all round.

I'm glad you all might get some quality time with FIL. I know I sent you a tweet but do try and get in touch with the BC Cancer society - they offer a lot of support for families. They were amazing for my family each time my dad had cancer!

Massive hugs! xoxo